Jealousmate

Determining jealousy triggers

Triggers are responsible for outbursts of jealousy.  Here are some common jealousy triggers which you may be familiar with:

Your partner is friendly with a male colleague
Your partner spent a long time talking to an old schoolfriend
You find your partner looking at another man
Your partner spends a lot of time helping a male friend

The roots of jealousy lie in the envy of another person. The other person may be more attractive, better off or talented in some area. If your partner was taking time out to help an elderly male neighbour, then you wouldn’t be bothered in the slightest.  But because your partner is helping out the good-looking man next door you are immediately inclined to be suspicious and to fly off the handle. We fear the people who we perceive to be better than us because we assume that our partners will leave us for them.

Take a few moments to write down the triggers which spark a jealous reaction. Being aware of these triggers will put you in a strong situation and you can plan what reaction to take when they rear their ugly heads.

I see this question so many times on the Internet, I’ve been working on jealousy issues for some time now and I’ve finally got a handle on it. My jealousy was responsible for ending many relationships and the worst thing is you would think that you’d learn from your mistakes, but you repeat them again and again. I don’t think you can ever overcome jealousy completely but you can learn to manage it effectively. The more in control that you are, the less of a problem jealousy becomes.

Every time that you feel jealousy start to kick in do not allow yourself to respond to it. I know this is bloody hard, but in time it gets easier. You never will be able to escape that twinge of jealousy but the more power you have over your emotional response to the jealousy trigger the easier it becomes.

I was researching jealousy when I stumbled upon this extract from Napolean Hill’s Think and grow rich (Which incidentally can be downloaded in full from http://www.moonfish-design.co.uk
The Fear Of Loss Of Love

The original source of this inherent fear needs but little description, because it obviously grew out of man’s polygamous habit of stealing his fellowman’s mate, and his habit of taking liberties with her whenever he could.

Jealousy, and other similar forms of dementia praecox grow out of man’s inherited fear of the loss of love of someone. This fear is the most painful of all the six basic fears. It probably plays more havoc with the body and mind than any of the other basic fears, as it often leads to permanent insanity.

The fear of the loss of love probably dates back to the stone age, when men stole women by brute force. They continue to steal females, but their technique has changed. Instead of force, they now use persuasion, the promise of pretty clothes, motor cars, and other “bait” much more effective than physical force. Man’s habits are the same as they were at the dawn of civilization, but he expresses them differently.

Careful analysis has shown that women are more susceptible to this fear than men. This fact is easily explained. Women have learned, from experience, that men are polygamous by nature, that they are not to be trusted in the hands of rivals.

Do you agree or disagree with Napoleon Hill on this one?

Make sure you read Symptoms Of The Fear Of Loss Of Love before coming to any decisions.

Are you in an abusive relationship and living in danger? Maybe your partner beats you or abuses you verbally, you’re not alone countless women regardless of their background are living in fear, but why do they tolerate it.? The main reason that women stay in abusive relationships is that they fear change and believe that it’s safer to continue with what they know. Leaving their abuser will require strength that maybe they just don’t have. Leaving will involve finding a new place to live, losing friends and family, difficulties with their children and the whole caboodle of problems associated with starting afresh. It’s easy to see why these poor individuals continued to suffer the abuse, many of them believe that they can help their abuser and that the abuser will change. They accept the excuses and promises that their abuser gives them, or they may have such low self-esteem that they really don’t have the strength to do anything about the problem.

Women in these unhappy situations may be suffering from depression and are unable to address the thought of a separation that could infuriate their abuser and take the children away from the father. Relationships are difficult even where abuse isn’t involved, so it is easily to see how much of a problem it is for these poor abused individuals. It’s so easy to become absorbed in a relationship and to stand for unacceptable behaviour. An abusive relationship changes who you are removed your confidence and destroys your sense of self-worth. The person you fell in love with, your Prince Charming has become a monster who no longer recognize the person who you’d never have looked twice at when you were single.

So how do you decide when the time is right to get out? If your partner hit she once they will do it again and again, so never tolerate violence or malicious behaviour I’m sorry is never enough no matter how sincere your partner appears after the event. Let him know that you will never tolerate such behaviour, someone who relies on violence when angered is out of control and needs professional help.

Get out of the relationship immediately and ask your partner to seek anger management counselling or get them to see a counsellor or psychologist.

There are many resources available for somebody who’s serious about getting treatment. If your partner refuses to do this, you really need to get out because they will not change and you will never be able to make them do so. If any of this information sounds familiar to you then you are in real danger and you need to leave. There are lots of resources online for women in your situation, you’ve made a positive first step by finding this page. Remember nobody deserves to stay in an abusive relationship, you are worth so much more.

Perhaps you are extremely jealous however as you may have realized,iot is not a matter of choice. It is a powerful emotion which makes you feel like you’re losing your mind. Maybe sometimes you do very stupid things, without thinking and are left feeling embarrassed. You might see your lover with a work colleague and assume the worst and start a scene,maybe it doesn’t get physical, but this type of behavior will drive your lover away from you unless you take control.

To overcome jealousy in romantic relationships  you must first of all discover the cause of this irrational emotion. Were you cheated on once? Does the other person show your partner  attention he or she is lacking? Did you cheat on your partner in the past? It will help you no end if you can get a handle on what is the cause of your insecurity.

To overcome jealousy in romantic relationships learn how to handle competition. Attractive people get attention all the time, it is a fact of life. You need to understand that you really cannot control (nor do you have the right to) another person.

If you can learn to keep your jealousy under wraps it will become easier to deal with it, sure you won’t get rid of it completely but it will get easier as time goes by.

Communication is often a factor of jealousy try to keep all lines of communication open with your lover, do not keep secrets but be honest. It’s ok to say you feel a little insecure, hell everyone does and you will most probably find your lover will do what they can to assure you that everything is ok.

To overcome jealousy in romantic relationships, talk about it. When your lover knows what makes you anxious they can adjust their behavior to make things easier. She might start flirting with you when in the company of friends and maybe a public display of affection will reduce your insecurity and help you to overcome your problem.

Remember the other person is rarely the problem, it is usually down to your feelings of insecurity. Try to boost your confidence and self esteem by doing nice things witrh your partner, This will make your bond better and will make romantic jealousy a lot easier to deal with.

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